Thoughts on Motherhood (Volume 10)

It's been a couple of months since I have written about the happenings of being a mama. This post might also need to be titled "Ignorance is Bliss". Let me start by saying, I fully believe that we go through lots of seasons as mama's. Well, at 14 months old can I just say we are in such a joyful season?

Friends, I love everything about being a mom. From the time I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to have babies and stay home with them. I was prepared for changing diapers, smelling like spit up, doing lots of baby talk, and taking care of our home. When Evelyn arrived, as with most people when they have their first baby, your world is a little rocked. Sure...you have a pretty good idea about what life will look like, but really.....you don't have a clue until you are thrown into being a mom. I have tried to enjoy every stage that we have experienced so far. The first year was challenging with a lack of sleep, nursing all the time, figuring out schedules, and just learning this new role. Still, even on hard days....there is nothing like it. I know many would agree. 

I was telling Brett the other day that although I knew it could change at any point.....I felt like I was in such a sweet spot with being a mom. I seriously love everything about my days with Evelyn. I know many veteran mama's or mama's with lots of kiddos are probably laughing and thinking I just don't understand. Maybe not...but I truly enjoy spending my days with this little girl. I love watching her grow. I love taking care of her. I love watching her learn new things. I don't live for nap time. I just quite simply feel like the days are so much fun! 

Trust me....I know there will continue to be hard days. I know that the "terrible twos" or "threenager" years will hit, and already I see some sass the size of Texas in my sweet baby. Oh, and she can give a "mean mug" like nobody's business! :)  But....she is the sweetest thing most of the time! 

I also know that God has give me this great joy...this great privilege of being Evelyn's mama. It is the sweetest gift. She is the sweetest gift. I come out of her room so many nights after rocking her in tears. My poor husband. :) But, I can't help it. She is such a treasure. I love her so much. I am so grateful that the Lord is so sweet to provide for our family so that I can stay home with her each day. I am thankful that my husband has the desire for me to be home with her as well. I am thankful for my little business that is flexible and allows me to fulfill my first dream and role of being a mama.  Evelyn is such a picture of Psalm 66:20 which says,

"Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" 

This baby was longed for, for what seems like forever. In God's timing, He graciously gave me the gift of Evelyn. As I am writing, I can't help but cry, for so many reasons.....Mainly, God's goodness. His faithfulness. His provision. The waiting was hard, but who knows what God was keeping me from....I certainly know I learned a lot in the waiting. I have to preach these things to myself when I struggle with waiting even now. It is sometimes a daily battle.

Yesterday I was reading in Psalm 92, and there is so much goodness and truth in these words. 

"It is good to praise the Lord, and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your own love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp. For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord; I sing for joy at what your hand have done. How great are your works, Lord, how profound are your thoughts!" (verses 1-5)

So, I write this....not because I think Evelyn is perfect....(Gracious no!) But, to go back and read when we enter another hard season....another hard day. I know they will come. But, motherhood is such a precious gift, and one I don't want to waste. I am in a sweet season with the Lord as well right now, and He has been gracious to remind me of the good gifts in my life. I am SO UNDESERVING, but incredibly grateful. If you are in a blissful season....enjoy. If you are walking an exhausting road...remember, the hard roads are usually pretty short and go by quicker than I could have imagined.  :) 

Baby Rowan

Photos of this little boy are long overdue! I got to take his big brothers newborn photos a couple of years ago, so I was super excited to find out Whitney was expecting another baby boy! He was so perfect during his newborn shoot. He barely made a peep! Big brother was super sweet as well! I am so grateful when people allow me to take photos as their families grow! It's such an honor! He is the perfect addition to their sweet family!

The Birth of James Eric Jr.

It is with tears that I share this next birth. Two in one month.....it's such a privilege. I don't get to shoot a lot of births, mainly because not many want to let you in on such a personal event, but this one is extra special. This is my bother and sister-in-law. They have three little girls, and this fourth baby brought them a baby boy!! You will hear at the beginning, but we were all together when we found out it was a boy!! We were so excited.

We had hopes that I would get to be there, but they live in Georgia and with a natural delivery and it being the fourth baby we had no idea if I would be able to make it! Well, this little one wanted me there apparently, because he was four days late! :) I was so grateful that I got to capture James entering the world. He is such a loved little boy! Lindsey did incredible during labor, and Eric was an awesome help. Even when it is family I count it a privilege to be able to be in the delivery room!! Thank you Eric and Linds! This little boy is the perfect addition to your family! :) 

The Birth of Caleb Henry

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to photograph the birth of a sweet friends baby boy. I have gotten to witness many births as a photographer, and I consider each one such a privilege. A birth is one of the most intimate events that couples allow me to see. Sarah Nell has been a dear friend for as long as I can remember. The entire day was so enjoyable. We all laughed together. Say was cracking jokes (at 5cm!!), and she labored so beautifully. She was so composed and calm the entire time. Christian was such a great helper through the entire birth. I, of course, cried as sweet Hank entered the world. What a sweet little miracle. I put this video together for this sweet family! Thank you again Christian and Sarah Nell!! I love y'all so much!! Congrats on a precious baby boy!

Matt and Maranatha (engaged)

I was so excited when this couple asked me to photograph their engagement photos, and soon their wedding!! Matt is family, and we spent lots of our childhood together. Our families are close, and we grew up doing children's choir, VBS, church picnics, and lots more! I met Maranatha a few years ago. She is from Africa, and when you meet her....she is an immediate friend. She has the sweetest heart, is incredibly friendly, is a talented musician, and genuinely cares about people. When I found out they were dating, and eventually when they got engaged, I was thrilled. I cannot wait to see what the Lord does as they begin their lives together in just a little over a week! :) 

Alivia (bridals)

Sweet Alivia..... I only took these photos a couple of weeks ago, but I could not wait to share them! Their wedding was this weekend, so I am free to share how absolutely stunning Alivia looked on her wedding day! We took her bridal photos in the same location of their wedding. It was hot, but we had so much fun! We walked all over their property, and Alivia was so sweet to oblige me with whatever I asked her to do! It wasn't challenging to make her look good! She is so beautiful, and I just love how these turned out, which is obvious because I could not choose just a couple of favorites! :) 

Austin and Jillian (married)

I love this couple. When I met up with them for their engagement photos and got to spend time with them, I knew their wedding was going to be beautiful. They are so in love. Their wedding day was long awaited, as they had been apart for several months leading up to this day! They were married at Fort Conde, and everything was absolutely so perfect! I had never had the privilege of shooting a wedding there, and now I cannot wait to do another one! Although it was a hot May afternoon, everything about the evening was so perfect! Congrats Austin and Jillian! I hope that married life is treating you well! 

Thoughts on Motherhood (Volume 9--A Birthday Letter to my Girl

My Dear Sweet Evelyn,

Happy Birthday little girl! One whole year. We made it. We both survived! It is hard to believe that on this day a year ago, we were anxiously awaiting your arrival. We didn't realize it was going to be as long of a day as it was. It was an incredibly draining and exhausting day, but we got the best best gift at 9:36 on that Tuesday evening. We got you. Our lives were forever changed. Honestly, if there is one word to wrap up how I feel as I reminisce about your first year, it is thankful. 

I have learned so many things.  In those first days and weeks there was so much adrenaline. There was tiredness as well, but mostly excitement and bliss that you were finally with us, that you were sleeping/eating well, and that you were my baby and I got to keep you forever. haha. You helped your daddy and I adjust, and had grace with us as we learned the ropes. As the weeks turned into months, we learned about sleep regression, teething, comfort nursing, and all sorts of fun stuff. :) There were some hard days, but as I tell everyone....even on the hardest days, the good far outweighs the bad. As you have grown, we have seen you learn so much. You are independent, but still love your mama and dada, and want to be held often. You are so smart. You are funny! You are loving, and have a smile that just melts your daddy and I. It is so fun to see you discover and recognize new things. 

There is so much I want to remember about this first year of your precious life. I want to remember how you light up in the mornings when I come in your room singing "Good Morning God".  I want to remember how that little smile went from gummy to toothy overnight it seems. I want to remember how big you smile when daddy gets home from work or pretty much anytime you see him. I want to remember how much you love those little plastic balls and your hammer. I want to remember how you seem to bounce from toy to toy and get so excited as you crawl towards the next thing. I want to remember how you bounce up and down when I tell you to dance. I want to remember how you CONSTANTLY say....."dadadadadadadadada" I want to remember how your little hands clap. I want to remember how you when I say, "Will you share?" you raise your little hand up with whatever you have to give it to me.  I want to remember how you lay your head on my shoulder when you are ready to go to sleep. I want to remember how much you love to eat ANY and EVERYTHING. ( I would be okay to forget how you literally make noise through every meal.... :) Bless your heart) I want to remember how you have started recognizing so many things when I ask where they are. You are so smart. I want to remember your sweet belly laugh. I want to remember how you have started just recently really getting into everything and trying to pull all the books off of your bookshelf or all the toys out. I want to remember how you finally sleep so well after several months of not-so-well. I want to remember how much I love hearing you "talk" and laugh in your carseat and get the biggest smile when I turn around and look at you. I want to remember how much your daddy and I love you, and all of the times daddy looks at me and says, "Mama, I just love her."

I feel incredibly grateful that God gave you to us. I have seen the gospel so clearly this year. God has stretched me. Being a mom is quite the humbling experience. I have seen how selfish I can be, and sin has certainly been revealed. But, God's grace has truly covered this first year of parenthood. The Lord has been so good. Tonight as I write this tears are running down my cheeks, because I am so overwhelmingly thankful that God has chosen me to be your mama. He truly gives such great gifts. He has consistently drawn near to me, met me where I am, and walked with me through all of the best days and the hardest days. 

You are an amazing little girl, Evelyn Anne. Please know that your daddy and I want to lead you well. We want you to see Jesus in our lives, and want you to know Him at a young age. He is best. His ways are best. His Word is so good. A relationship with Him is all that matters. I am praying that your heart is drawn to Him quickly. I am praying that you love His Word. I am praying that you grow to be a woman who fears Him, and walks with Him. You have made this year such a sweet experience. I cannot wait to continue watching you grow and change. It is a privilege to be your mama.

You are the best!

All My Love, 

Mama

Here is a little (actually long... :)  ) video of Evie's first year.....

An Evening with Evelyn

Excuse me over here while I am feeling all sentimental this week.......My baby girl will be one in just a couple of days. I find myself (as I have all year) wanting to document every little thing. I have written her letters all year, taken a billion pictures, and a good bit of video. A couple of weeks ago Brett and I attempted to document some of our evening routine with a little video. It certainly isn't perfect, and we are certainly not videographers, but I want to remember these things. My parents have so many home videos of us from when we were little, and I want to have more than just what I catch on my I-Phone, which is still totally acceptable, and my go-to quite frequently. 

I want to remember how we let her play in her diaper right before her bath. I want to remember how excited she gets in the bath (not that it has always been this way... :)  ). I certainly want to remember rocking and nursing her in that chair. I have spent SO MUCH TIME in that chair during this first year of her life. I know I will continue to rock her and sit in it, but I am certain that as she is getting older those times will be fewer. I have done a whole lot of praying, crying, laughing, smiling, and thanking the Lord in the chair.

Mainly, I made this for myself, and for Brett and I to look back on and show our girl one day. We are feeling a little sappy over here this week, and are overwhelmingly grateful for the gift of our baby girl.

Samuel and Alivia (engaged)

This sweet couple.....We are in countdown to their wedding!

Back in May I got to take some engagement pictures for them. They are so precious. We laughed and laughed while we took photos, and they were just so easy to photograph. Their love for each other is so evident. Honestly, they just had so much fun together! Alivia is beautiful and the way Samuel looked at her was so sweet. I am so grateful that I got to photograph this special time for them, and cannot wait for their wedding in a few weeks!!